how about my future?

Make it clean,
I know it so hard for me,

But,its me,my future in my hand,
I'm still confused,about which faculty would be my chosen later when I've finished my senior high school,

There are no views at all,
I realy realy confused,

I like mathematics,but it so hard for me,
I'm afraid ,I can't hold and stay with my best chooden faculty,

There isn't spirit for study.
They are gone,
I don't know why it happends to me,

I always pray with my god, allah ,
Every night,
I try to wake up and take wudhlu,
I hope it can show up my good way in the future,

Actually,I want to go into civil engineering majors, but I'm afraid I will not be strong and survive in that faculty,

God,please,
Give my way,the best way for me,
So I can make my parents proud.

Love you god,
And,can I ask one requests again??

God,please,
Clean my heart about her,
Please,its very bothering me,
Why you makes me like this?
so love her,
Why she can forgot me to fast?very fast?
I realy belive it's just your game,

So,please,make me normal again,
I know my sins to her was already too far,
But I don't know,
Why I can do that,

So ,please god,turn down my prayer, let me go to free from her,

Just you I can hope,


Thanks,

Love for our parents,